What’s for dinner?

Curious visitors

December 13, 2015

Raspberries Crunchies




Blue sky roamed over their heads
Sometimes with the greyish clouds that scattered around
There were oodles of things to look at
The nature to be adored
Or the buildings to be gotten a load of

He bounced that sphere thing against the ground
Sphere, like the sun
The sun that shines their planet
The sun that shines brightly
The sun that might be hotter than him, she thought.
But for all she knows,
He smiles at the sun.


And she said,

But the ache then spiked
The image of heartbroken pieces are still haunting me
Reminding me of every wrong path I’ve across long ago,
Where,
The leaves were falling
And petals died.

It seems like once we’re attached to one’s smile,
We couldn’t get enough of it
I once tried
But ended up keep staring at it
Begging for an extra
And little did I know,
It got me so frickin’ sozzled.




Yet,
By the azure turned black
And the shops are closed
And all she could see was the ceiling
She began to think:

“Would that sun blast a supernova and turn into the coldest one like the last time I witnessed?
Would that smile engender the continuing fear I suffer,
Of losing someone I've never had?"



Then, in silence, she reached for a paper and pen.

And if today was the day I die
I would ask for the last behest:
Please keep that glowing and cheerful beam of yours
Because every time I look at it,
I am drowning,
But the water makes me feel like I’m alive
Again.


[To someone I don’t dare to glue my eyes on when we speak]


—b, 13/12/15

December 08, 2015

Global Exploration Exchange 2015: The Netherlands [OFFICIAL]

"Wow, it sounds interesting," was the first sentence that popped up in my head when I heard about this programme from one of my friends at school. Moreover, I got even more excited as my other friend, Nadira, told me that she was also interested in this programme. So that afternoon, we went to the teacher room looking for Mrs Emma, to know about this programme further.
I got all the documents prepared for like two weeks because the requirements were quite complicated. And after making sure I got all the things I needed packed, finally, I boarded the plane which was heading to Amsterdam, along with Nadira and Mrs Emma, and enjoyed the whole fourteen hours on the air.



Day 1: April 7 2015
I woke up to the dark, cold morning in one of the biggest city in The Netherlands, Utrecht. We have arrived at Schiphol on April 6, a day ahead from when the rest of the Indonesian delegates would arrive, so we stayed a night at Mrs Emma's friend's house in Utrecht.
At 8 in the morning, we headed off back to Amsterdam by a train. At around ten we finally reached the Stayokay Hostel in Amsterdam, even though it was kind of a hard time for me to get there by bus from Schiphol with massive and very, very heavy luggage by my side.
Irene, one of the Global Exploration staffs, greeted us as we came up with a little bit confusing at the main hostel door because we had no idea how to open it (and we just stood there hanging like a statue haha). However, fortunately, we could manage it with, of course, Irene's help.
There had been the other delegates from Indonesia inside. After I quick-introduced myself to Kevin and Madelon, the Dutch volunteers for this programme and they explained the map of Amsterdam city they just gave me; we went out for a small tour to some of the famous landmarks around the area of the hostel by feet.
I fell in love with the city in a blink of an eye. The structure of the citywhether it is the canals or the roads or the tram linesis very well-arranged with an exclusive track for the cyclist on every side of the road, which made me fascinated because, wow, there are a lot of bicycles there. People seemed to prefer to go to work or school by bike rather than a car. I think that is the most significant difference between this country and Indonesia if you are talking about the city. People know that this country is technically located under the sea level and the fact is that they still can live in it. They built lots of canals, the canals which were surrounded by beautiful scenery and I could not wait when Irene said that we would have a canal boat tour tomorrow.
Back from the small tour, Kevin had already brought the Indian delegates to the hostel, and it is time to announce the room divisions. We were divided into three rooms, I guess, and of course, the boy with boys and girl with girls, and each room consisted of 6 persons in maximum. I shared a room with Nadira and four Indian students. I was excited and a bit nervous about having such awell, strangersat my room, but we could get along together at the end. After taking a shower and preparing the bundle of things I might need for tomorrow's activities, I drifted into a deep sleep with Nadira sleeping on the bed above me.



Day 2: April 8 2015
Poof! Another cold sunny day greeted as I stepped outside the hostel, ready for the canal boat ride. We stored our luggage in the luggage room, again, because we were going to have another city tour by feet and canal boat until twelve, and then have a lunch, and check-out from the hostel to finally head off to Sittard.
The canal boat provided many languages, not only English or Dutch, but they had Indonesian too, to be a speaking-guide while the boat was floating down the canal for approximately an hour. We passed along some historical places too during the ride. We were starting from the narrow canal to the super-wide one which made people probably confused whether it is a sea or a canal.
Getting off the boat, we made a quick visit to Rijksmuseum and had a group picture of all the delegations taken there with the most popular background on our backs: I (am)sterdam. We also explored the city to The Dam Square and had a free twenty minutes there, so since I was not up for shopping or anything else, and since the cold wind kept blowing, I slipped to the nearest Starbucks to enjoy a cup of hot coffee to please my mood.
After we had lunch at Stayokay Hostel, we took out our luggage to the bus which was parked across the Vondelpark, and sit back on the bus with our minds for the next three hours.
We were dropped off at Trevianum, which would be the meeting point between the host families and us to pick us up, as soon as we reached Sittard smoothly. There was a 5-minutes a presentation about The Netherlands being held there, and after that, I met Douren's family, the Trevianum student who would have me in her house for three days ahead, and this time I shared a house, or to detail, a room, with Mrs Emma.



Day 3: April 9 2015
      Angelique, Douren's mom, was a good cooker. She cooked very well that the food always tasted delicious, at least for me. Moreover, they treated me excellent. Angelique dropped us off at Gaia Zoo early in the morning and said that Wil, Douren's dad, would be there for us at 5 p.m. because this programme always started at eight and ended at five every day, except for the free whole day we were going to have on this Sunday.
At Gaia Zoo we had two lectures, the first one was about waste recycling from a recycling company called Rd4. It was not very interesting at the beginning. However, when the presentation was starting to reach the end, it opened my eyes that surprisingly, a waste that might seem useless to most people could be transformed into something unique and worthy for you to spend your money on. The company had been starting this kind of action since like four years ago if I'm not mistaken, and they collected the waste from residents, 1000 residents per route. In the last several months they had been successfully doubled the number of addresses to 2000 per route. For me, that was such an inspiring starter to reduce waste, especially the unbiodegradable ones. "Waste can be so beautiful. You just should have things around you that inspire you."
The second lecture was from Detara Foundation, presented by Kak Anis very well. She explained about Detara Foundation activities on creating a sustainable living by local empowerment. They had been persuading their let's-keep-our-planet-green ambition to many schools in Jakarta, Depok, Bogor, and even Tangerang.
After those two lectures and a small coffee break, we were divided into groups to tour around the zoo and a worksheet for us to fill up the answer to each question.
We were divided into groups twice here. The first one was for the tour around the zoo in general. Second, they gave each group a topic to be discussed while we were exploring the zoo again in a more specific way, depending on what topic did you get. I got animal care topic, so we went around the zoo to see how the sick animals are being cured, how their food is stored safely and hygienically in good condition, and much more. They showed so much care to the animals there, and I learnt many things here.
Today was such an eye-opener.
Like what Angelique had promised, Wil showed up at the auditorium at precisely 5 p.m., and with carefulness, he drove us home safely. After a brief rest on the sofa, Angelique took us to the nearest supermarket from their house for tonight's dinner.



Day 4: April 10 2015
A few days before the departure to Amsterdam, I watched the movie Big Hero 6 and my favourite quote during the whole movie is: "Hello, I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion." Well, I think this is such a pointless paragraph because I was just wondering if Baymax ever existed and had so many copies being spread all over the world, maybe there would be no child mortality due to sickness. People would always be healthy and had a higher life expectancy. Those were the main topics that would be discussed by us today at Adelante, a local healthcare facility in that area.
At Adelante, we had lectures about healthiness and child care. Before we began to the main point, there was an explanation about healthcare in The The Netherlands. In The Netherlands, they provide a high standard of care in outstanding quality, and the medical facility is range from general practitioners to specialists, which is separated to cure different types of illness because every person has different needs. They successfully made the Dutch's life expectancy one of the highest in the world with no additional fee for the hospital admission. A lecture which came from Hilda, a delegate from South Africa, was one of the most touching lectures I had ever had so far. She told us a lecture, which I enjoyed very much because she spoke in the way as if it was not a lecture, so it was not boringabout the child care back in her hometown. I was a little bit surprised as she said that the most popular-but-deadly disease, HIV infect more than 50% orphans in South Africa.
So she built a house with well-cooperated volunteers, a house for them to be cured and taken care of. That was such an inspiring example of a very well-done step to reach the bright future for the next generation.
From Adelante, we drove off the road to Op de Bies, a facility complex for disabled people. So it was like a typical residential. What makes it different is, the people inside the houses were not built with complete body parts, and some of them had mental disorders, which makes them need a different and distinctive way to live and to learn. In Op de Bies, they have several swimming pools for disabled people to swim. They were even allowed to do some easy and simple works to spend their time. When I entered one of the houses with a place like a cafeteria on their yard, I was amazed to see a disabled woman could work as a cashier. The woman has a mental disorder. When the customer pays, she matches the structure of the picture printed on the money with the pictures on the computer. When she finds it is the same picture, she clicks the picture on the computer, and this goes on until all pieces of money match, after that she pressed the green button so the computer will start to calculate the total amount.
That was unique because sadly, in Indonesia, most disabled are forgotten; they did not even have a chance to speak and to socialize with other ordinary people. I hope in the future we can have a place like Op de Bies in Indonesia in the future.
As usual, at precisely 5 p.m., Wil appeared at Op de Bies to pick us up. Before that, we had informed him that we were going to practice for tomorrow's Culture Night performance, so we were given about thirty minutes to practice angklung.



Day 5: April 11 2015
      The first weekend days during this the programme was very culturalistic because today we visited Maastricht, a city in the southern Netherlands which has so many old-fashioned style building rise along the roads. At 8 a.m. Wil dropped me off at the University of Maastricht, because we were going to have some lectures and discussions and small tour around the university building to see how the Dutch collegers learn.
      There was a lecture from the headmaster of Vankateshwar International School from India, Mrs Mrinalini, about how we should change our world for a better future. There was such a quote that inspired me, and I liked it a lot: "If you want to change a nation, you should change the community. If you want to change your community, you should change your family. If you want to change your family, change yourself." I agreed to that because we all realize that if we want a change, all you have to do is start from the simplest little thing: yourself.
      After that, we were divided into groups again based on the countries where we from to discuss some MDGs points and what we think we should do to reach the entire goals, then had a quick lunch on the bus on the way to Valkenburg.
In Valkenburg, we first visited Stella Marris College to have such a small exhibition about our cultures from each country. Then we had some rehearsal for the big flashmob that would be attended by all delegates and Dutch students later during Culture Night at a building called Polfermolen. At about 5 p.m., we arrived at Polfermolen, and we separated our ways, boys to gentlemen's restroom and girls to ladies' restroom to get changed into our traditional clothing. I slipped in a Javanese costume, kebaya with a batik-styled tight skirt, and the other delegates from Indonesia each wore a Padangese, Balinese, and also some other Javanese costumes.
We performed the song Soleram with angklung, an Indonesian bamboo musical instrument, and Yamko Rambe Yamko with one of the delegates from Indonesia playing the keyboard. At the same time, we sang it in front of up-to three hundred audiences, which consisted of some Dutch students' parents and our previous and next host families. Because tonight we changed host family! It was quite hard for me to say goodbye to Douren's family because they were very friendly and they treated me well, and I liked being in their house. I felt like I didn't want to leave. But we had to, and that moment, when the flashmob and the closing were done, and the lights were starting to dim and then gone, I met Lotte and her mom, who was my host family for the next three days.



Day 6: April 12 2015
Feeling excited as Lotte said today we were going do some fun activities to fill up the day because today we had a day off! I woke up at eight because last night I was exhausted and immediately dozed off to bed once I got to Lotte's house. All you have to know is that Lotte and I were put in the same room together, but on the separated beds, so we had such a conversation once we were up in the morning. We could be stuck together easily because I found that she has the same interests as me in music and movies. After I freshened up myself, I went downstairs to the kitchen to help Lotte preparing for our breakfast because the rest of Lotte's family members had not been up. We had a croissant and a simple-but-tasty sandwich with Nutella before we both rested our bodies on the living room sofa to watch some movies together. As I said, we have the same taste in movies, so we decided to watch Frozen and Begin Again even though we both had seen it before, but the movies are too good to be missed, so why not?
Lotte's family all is a sportsperson. Lotte and her younger sister Emma are hockey players and they were following their mom's hobby when she was at their age back then, while her older sister and her dad, Tom, are rugby players for a local club. So that afternoon after lunch, Tom, Emma, and I watched behind the fence while Lotte was fighting a duel for her hockey club to win the match on an outdoor hockey field.
We spent the evening having some ice cream in a café and restaurant complex in Valkenburg, just before we all headed straight off to a French restaurant for a pleasant dinner.
Lotte and I even baked some cookies in the morning before the movies, so when we came home from dinner, we took out the cookies from the fridge and started to feed ourselves with the movie Big Hero 6 playing on her computer's screen, and then had a good sleep.



Day 7: April 13 2015
And for the second time, I did not meet the other delegates from Indonesia except for Mr Koes,
because we were divided, again, into groups and each group was sent to different elementary
schools to teach the students about our culture. I was in the same group as Mr Koes, so
we both worked together to distribute our knowledge about Indonesian cultures in front of
fifteen students. Those fifteen students were only like a group of students who would enter the classroom together because since there were like sixty students attended. Of course, a single classroom could not afford them all; they took turns.
For the opening, I explained the general things about Indonesia like where is it located, how is the weather, the schools, in a simple way. After that, I taught them about wayang, traditional Indonesian puppet, and then I gave a printed-out picture of wayang for them to fill the colours using coloured pencils. It was simple, but at least I could tell them about Indonesian culture. They seemed to like it because they kept attacking with a ton of questions about Indonesia.
         After that, we drove to a different elementary school again, had lunch there, and then replied the same activity as what we had done before: teaching the students. Because the students at the other school were younger than before, I doubted that they would understand if I did the same thingexplaining about Indonesia and colouring the wayang picture. So I just played some videos from Youtube on the big touchscreen computer's screen they provided for each classroom. I showed videos about komodo, Kecak dance, the beauty of Raja Ampat, and at the end, I suggested them to sing Balonku together.
         It was fun to teach them about our culture. It could be the first step to promote the uniqueness of our culture to the world.



Day 8: April 14 2015
         I woke up with excitement flowing inside my soul because it was the day when we travelled to Belgium and Germany. Three countries in a day (and of course The Netherlands because that was where we departed by bus)! For the first time in my life because in Indonesia we cannot do that because seas surrounded us.
         In Belgium, we dropped off in Liege, a city that is located only an hour car-drive away from Heerlen to tour around the city. We were brought to Liege Cathedral; a big cathedral explored its history while the other Indonesian students and I were trying to copy one of the statues' pose and asked Ankit, a student from Nepal, to take a picture of us posing.
         After an hour in Liege, we departed again for Germany. I had such a funny moment with Nadira on the bus. Half an hour later, we got out of the bus to inhale the fresh, cold air of Aachen, a city in southern Germany which is very very near to The Netherlands. Not like in Liege, we were given much longer time to walk around the Munsterplatz, and Madelon instructed us to gather in front of the theatre building at 2 p.m..
         I went shopping with the other Indonesian students because there were a lot of branded clothing stores in that area. Since our money remained more than two hundred Euros and just a few days were remaining until we leave the country, we decided to spend our money on clothes. At 2 p.m., we found our way to the theatre, although there was a little challenging to communicate with the Germans; fortunately, we could manage it.
         We headed to the point of where The Netherlands, Germany, and Belgium's continents meet. There was a not-really-tall tower built in that area. We could see the view of the three different countries from the top of the tower for only like three Euros per person. The other Indonesian students and I bought a pack of french fries with extra mayonnaise for us together. We had free time for an hour there, so the other Indonesian students and I did a small tour exploring the woods beside the area. We enjoyed the lovely view of plenty of tall trees with the enhanced sunrays stroked between them.
         The last destination before heading back to Heerlen was the American Cemetery in Margraten, The Netherlands. It is the place where the American soldiers who died during World War II are buried. After that, we went back to Heerlen, Van der Valk Hotel, to find that Lotte had been there to pick me up.
      This was the last night I spent at Lotte's house because tomorrow morning I would leave her house with all of my luggage. So as a farewell, that night we went to the cinema to watch the new-released booming movie at that moment, Fast & Furious 7. Tessa, Lotte's friend, who also hosted two students from India, joined us too.



Day 9: April 15 2015
         After saying goodbye to Lotte's family, we left Heerlen and continued to head straight to a sports school in Eindhoven, Hogeschool. It was an excellent school with adequate facilities for many kinds of sport, either indoor or outdoor. They even have some swimming pools too in a separated building. The swimming pools are divided based on the needs: for the beginner, the seniors, and for the ones who will join a competitionor let say, an athlete. After touring around the school with some Dutch students, we did some dance and sports. We played football, hockey, and basketball in groups (and somehow playing hockey reminded me of Lotte). At the end of the moment, we had in Hogeschool, we all played a game which was still related to the sport but sadly as we had just started for five minutes, Derrick, a teacher from Tanzania, told us that it was already the time to leave. So without ever finishing our last game, we left.
         The next stop was different for each delegation. We were put into a city or an area based on our country. The Indonesians were dropped off in Nijmegen, the furthest from Eindhoven comparing to the other delegation's cities. It took about two hours of car drive to get there. Once we got there, we were picked up by new host families on the parking lot of Dominicus College. It was the last host families during this programme, and realizing that in a few days we were going to head back home just made me sadder. I did not want to leave this beautiful country. This time I was put in the same house with kak Anis, with Vita as our host family's first daughter. Vita has a younger brother and a younger sister.
         That night, after dinner, Vita's mom asked us if we would like to go to the supermarket nearby with her, Albert Heijn—it is trendy in The Netherlands, and I said yes. So we went for it by bike. Five bikes formed a line; Kak Anis, Stephanie (Vita's younger sister), Vita, and Vita's mom, and I. Vita brought some tote bags from home because if we want to have a plastic bag from the supermarket, we should pay for it, usually half a Euro each. Sadly, that rule of plastic bags has not been applied until now in Indonesia. We still can get a plastic bag for free, and that is making the plastic waste increased every single year.



Day 10: April 16 2015
         Yes! Another exciting day!
         Today we had a 'normal school day' as what was written on the schedule book. The school we attended was Dominicus College. All of our host families are Dominicus College's students. There were Vita, Jimmy, and Wies.
         As I first stepped in Dominicus College, the first and only impression was: "It looks just exactly as what I always see on those teenagers-life Hollywood movies." The place was so lovely and comfortable! I loved being there. It was a government school. If only all of the government schools in Indonesia were like this.
         After a coffee time and had a brief chit-chat, we were divided into two groups to tour around the school. I was put in a group which the members were kak Anis, Jimmy, and an English teacher. They showed us all of the sides of the building, including the computers room and the disabled students' learning area. Yes. They have it. Surprised? Because I was. For access, they provide automatic doors for the disabled ones. The classroom was also different comparing to the classroom we usually have. The lights will turn on automatically without you even need to switch them on. If you are disabled and you are not feeling okay, do not worry because they have some 'sleeping rooms' for them to take a rest. There were also some spare automatic wheelchairs on the edge of the main room, in case of something terrible and unexpected happens, who knows? Furthermore, that inspired me and made me think of how they could so care to the disabled. They give the disabled a chance to learn, to attend school, to have a normal life as an average person will be.
         We got some sandwiches for lunch. That was such a fuel-filling activity because after that we had some presentations and a chemistry class with the Dutch students.
         Again, divided into three groups, one Indonesian student and one Dutch student in each group. I worked together with Jimmy. All we had to do was make a PowerPoint about 1) food, 2) music and 3) national holidays. We chose the topic, and later, the Dutch student explained about Indonesian's and the Indonesian explained about Dutch's. We chose the easiest one, food (because I like to eat). So I had to explain about Dutch food and Jimmy had to explain about Indonesian food. We worked together to set up the PowerPoint, which will be presented in front of the class in the computers room. It was a vast computers room with plenty of computers (of course!). I told Jimmy about gado-gado and nasi goreng in general, and then the ingredients, so he could memorize it. In the middle of our work, a boy in a blue shirt appeared and walked in through the door of the computers room. Meet Bart. He was one of the Dominicus College's students too. After a quick introduction between us, their English teacher told him to join our group to discuss each other's food.
         The chemistry class was the most exciting moment of the day. We worked on some worksheets in groups, two persons per group, and even did some experiments which I had never done at my school before. Aside from the fact that they use very high-tech devices to help the students learning such an iPad and a massive computer screen, I was amazed by one of the experiments they showed us. They made bubbles by blowing some certain substances mixed with water and placed them in a big bowl, then we took some bubbles with our hands and hung it higher in the air to see the professor firing it and then POOF! A quite-tall flame happened, and the bubbles were gone. For this thing, I did not try it because I was nervous yet afraid if something terrible happened to my hands, but an Indonesian friend tried it, and nothing terrible happened. Four words: it was super amazing.
         After that, we cycled again back to Vita's house. Tonight, as a farewell, we sightsaw to the heart of the city Nijmegen with a friend of Vita and Nadira's host family joined us (and of course Nadira too). Nevertheless, the sightseeing turned into shopping as soon as we found out that there were many clothing stores in that area. Moreover, what made me wanted to stay there longer is the fact that they have a basement parking lot for bikes. For some reasons I chose to go there by bike when Vita asked what did I prefer to go by, bike or car, and that was unique, I think. The government seems to care and facilitate the cyclists, and that is very important if someone wants their country least influenced by vehicle emission.


   
Day 11: April 17 2015
               Technically, it was the last day of the programme! I was sad yet excited because we went to Den Haag today. We departed from Nijmegen Station to Eindhoven because it would take much time for them to pick us up by bus, so we said goodbye to host families right at the train station, and at around eight our train left Nijmegen. It took about an hour and a half to reach Eindhoven, and once we arrived, one of the Global Exploration staffs had already there to lead us to where the bus was parked.
               Indonesian delegates wore batik today. The other delegation did wear their formal outfits too because we are going to visit the Dutch Parliament.
               The parliament area was very spacious. There were many rooms protected with a code lock and even some fingerprint scans to enter. We toured around the building as the Dutch's party member guided us along our way, explained about Dutch's political system and to be honest it was quite boring, but it gave an experience.
               After having a quick lunch at Stayokay Hostel Den Haag, we headed off to the Peace Palace Den Haag. The Peace Palace is an administrative building in The Hague. It houses the International Court of Justice, the Permanent Court of Arbitration, the Hague Academy of International Law, and the extensive Peace Palace Library.
We were divided into smaller groups to have some discussion that took place at one of their halls. The discussion was about how far those MDGs have been running in our country and what our hopes and next steps to make it better in the future. Everyone here could share their great opinion since they always provided us a time to speak for every MDGs goal. I was put in the same group as Lotte (she joined us today), Ankit, Richard from China, Pallavi from India, and two Dutch represents. The discussion opened up my mind. Even though we lived in different countries with different problems, our goal was the same: to have a better life in the future. Through this discussion, I got some inspirations because what would be better than listening to someone else's opinions and share mine too. Opinions from a different point of views stuck in my mind.
               After that, we had a closing ceremony attended by the Deputy Ambassador, giving a short speech. The night was an exceptional night for us because we were personally invited to the Indonesian Embassy house and then had dinner together. There should had been another building-tour for us like what the other delegations had. However, since the Indonesian Ambassador, Mr Ibnu Wiwoho invited us to like-what-I-just-said, we split up from the others and went to the Indonesian Embassy by their private black van with a private chauffeur, all in black.
               I was so happy that we had Indonesian dinner at a local Indonesian restaurant as we had not have it like ages. At the end of our presence in The Netherlands, drinking Teh Kotak was like drinking some water from heaven and eating soto ayam was like eating a fancy and famous-chef-signature buffet. All my love belongs to Indonesian food. We had tahu telor, telor dadar, rawon, nasi iga, soto ayam, and bakso on the table as the food.
               After that, we dropped off again at Stayokay Hostel and thankyou-ed all the staffs of the Indonesian Embassy who had given us a dinner experience.
               That night, I really really wanted to spend the rest of the time there by exploring the beauty of the city. So the other two Indonesian students and I went out for some night-walking around the city, but as we were about to open the main door of the hostel, my uncle showed up with a big grin and my aunt by his side, cheered out as they spotted me. Yes, I have some family members living in Den Haag, so they decided to see me. Lucky for us, because with my uncle's presence, we were brought touring the city with his car, even though it was exactly 9.30 p.m. and all the shopping stores had been closed, we had a fun time together.
               At around half to midnight, we were dropped off again at Stayokay Hostel. We did not go back to our room as soon as we arrived. We decided to chill out at the backyard of the hostel, sitting calmly by the canal with small talk, and enjoyed while the icy night air piercing our bones. At around 1 AM on the next day, we were back to our rooms, and I decided to take a shower at exactly half-past one in the morning. After all, I did not want to have a hurry-morning at the time I woke up because we had to leave the hostel at half to 8 in the morning.



Day 12: April 18 2015
Lotte, Julia, Madelon, Kevin, and Jos from Global Exploration came with us to Schiphol and we disparted by the outer main gate. I was despondent, especially as I hugged each of them tightly. The days we had there seemed to be very short. Time flew.
Our flight boarded at 4.30 PM, so, to spend the time, I went shopping around Schiphol with Nadira. At 4 p.m., we were already standby by the gate to enter the aircraft. The saddest moment ever is when the plane was starting to leave the Schiphol building to the runaway, and I could not do anything when it left the ground. All I could see for the next another fourteen hours were clouds and blue-or-dark sky.
In conclusion, this trip was very, very, very exhilarating and unforgettable. Ever.
I wish I could experience it again someday, in a different country.



The end

created by Salsabiella Ramadhanti A.



(Tulisan ini sebenernya laporan kegiatan buat pusat, makanya nulisnya niat. Daripada nganggur di flashdisk mending gue share sekalian ye gak hahahah)

May 10, 2015

Blue Sky and Cold Air



Still on the same tune, same feelings, I looked outside the window with earphones on my ears and road full of cars just before me, creating a familiar scenery. I didn't want to get arrived as soon as possible. I still wanted to listen to this kind of music, even though it always reminds me of the bitter truth of mine.

The traffic made me worried about being late, but I was thankful that at least I could still listen to the song in the 'repeat song' mode. It never got me boring. Some people said that it was essential, great-but-well-um-I-don't-really-into-it, or even too clichè to be on their playlists, but for me, it was a really really fantastic song I've ever heard in my entire life. I've never been so attached to a song like this before.

The lyrics. You have to read the lyrics if you ask me what makes me love that song like crazy.

*

It's been almost four years.

I noted that December 2011 was one of the sources of my happiness. Started on a Wednesday, my nights were never dull, my days were never uninteresting, and I loved school days as much as I loved books. If school wasn't about studying and homework, I would like to stay there longer, even until the sun goes down on the horizon, just to see him doing random activities which, unfortunately, God, he always looked attractive, no matter what kind of activities he was doing. And I fell for that very ordinary God's creature for his everything and his not-attractive-for-anyone-except-me looking.

There had been ups and downs, laughs and frowns, sad and happy moments when we were both wasting our time to text each other, mostly in the late hours, just before I drifted myself into a deep, dreamy sleep. And when the time finally came, all you had to do is nothing except trying as best as you can to look happy as an average person would be, when at that time, smile was the hardest thing to do.

I didn't want to answer those questions of 'what happened'. I didn't like to tell anyone about my personal things. I didn't like to share with anyone about what I'm feeling. So I just laid on my puffy pillow, stared at the ceiling, and enjoyed while my brain was replaying the memory of me, sitting by the window on the bus, on the back row, with that song again playing through the earphones along with the inaudible sound of raindrops falling, and the name of him on my screen texting a good night with a smiling emoji.

Happy birthday.
Were my second favourite words after the good night one that came up from him, three years in a row.

It was hard at first to keep my head up. People might see me as the happiest person alive, the one with the loudest laughter, and the one who hardly take something too serious while the truth is, deep deep inside, I'm not. I'm not okay. And I didn't want to make it obvious to everyone. Because who cared? There was a time where I had been tired of laughing so much at school with my mood-booster friends, and I was so happy until I was back at my room and threw away my school bag not paying attention to anything else because all I needed at that time was just a pillow I could cry on. It was enough, enough to keep it with myself like this because I felt like I couldn't take it anymore.

Some people don't understand how much they mean to others. Some people don't realise how much it could make someone who cares about them happy just seeing them smile. They're spending most of their time finding for a perfect mate. At the same time, God, He knows, there's a girl, a girl whom you always come over to, patiently waiting, here, on the same place, with no idea why you always come over with easy sweet sayings and leave without any excuse, and then come back as if there's nothing happened.

And it made my chest ache when I came into the realization of how, in just a blink of an eye, everything became so different. Everything changed. Between those hopes and wishes, I had ever put up, the number one in my prayers was: I wish I could start it all over again.

*

With my heart which was still being scattered into pieces, the fear of having the same ending grew bigger and bigger as I looked at him secretly, scanning from head to toe and thought, "God, why he's so attractive." The thing that made me thought so was because he was that good-looking, but didn't seem to try to be a f*cking French model like those (lucky) good-looking guys usually do.

Have you ever felt it when you didn't want to fall in love because your past was still haunting you with sadness and fear? You vowed to yourself that you wouldn't fall in love again, and you've locked yourself out from the boys who wanted to know you, and suddenly, without warning, a guy came up to your life with the invisible sparks around him that attracted your eyes? And he wasn't the most attractive guy you've ever met. So it was just like a right dress you see on a display window, and it's not the prettiest dress you've ever found, but you want it very bad as if it has a special thing more than the other dresses.

I know, so strange.
Love is strange.
As strange as the mood that suddenly pumped up on my way home. Different song played. A different guy in mind. And different fear grew.

I'm not ready enough to have another Maserati crash against brick walls. I'm not up for the upcoming breakdowns that might knock me out from the trust once I made for the word love. And worst of all, I don't want to experience the same thing, twice.

And that's why I kept staying in my safe zone for the last four years, loving the same person, even though I knew that we could never make it up again. Still, the pain was more likely to be enjoyed rather than starting a new one with a different person which I don't know yet how is it going to end: worse or better.

I was scared when he smiled.
Scared when he laughed.
Scared when I was next to him.
Scared while watching him sleep.
Scared because I've haven't felt as happy like this in the last two years.
I'm terrified to feel happy because it never lasts.

So I found myself thinking, at least he fixed me because for the first time in my life I could push that past away from me, and the thought of I wouldn't be over it, he made me wrong.

I'm over it.

Believe me, one day you'll get tired of all of it and your brain will just tell you that you've had enough. There will be no tears, no pain, no second thoughts, and it'll be easy for you to walk away. Because the truth is, you have been slowly walking away, a step at a time, every time he breaks your heart. And when the time comes it'll be easy, it'll be because the door is already right behind you, all you'll have to do is turn, open it and leave. — Isabella Alvares

And I've found someone who lit up my happiness.

But I'm a lousy promiser. I made a promise to myself not to fall in love with anyone again, and I broke it.

I fell in love with him. And again, on a Wednesday.