Today By: a hurricane between the rain No comments

You were the first person I wanted to talk to when I got some bad news.
You were the only one I wanted to cry to.

You were the only one who could make me feel better when things go wrong; I don't know if it was the sound of your voice or the words you said so articulately or just the way you understood my silence when people struggled to understand my words.

You were the only one capable of making me smile when my tears were pouring down my face.
You were the hand I wanted to hold when I couldn't even feel mine.

Because it is always the tough times that reveal to you who you need the most and it's no surprise that I need you.
I need you to quiet my mind so I can sleep because you turn my nightmares into daydreams.
I need you to tell me that it's going to be okay.

It's ironic that sometimes we wait for things to go wrong so we can go right.
It's ironic that we have to come so close to losing people or losing ourselves to remember who we really don't want to lose.

And today, I surrender.
Today, I need you.
Today, I want to call you and tell you what I'm going through.
Today, I want you to listen to me.
Today, I want you to act like you care.

Because no matter who shows up at my door to comfort me, I'll still knock on yours.

If you're the reckless decision in times of sadness,
I want to be irresponsible.

If you're the mistake I make because I'm not thinking clearly,
I want to be foolish.

If needing you is wrong,
I don't want to be right.

—b, 03/12/16